The Gals! Katie and Lisa

The Mutt, Hippie Boy, Spike & Schmitty. Four of the five 3" Magnums!!

3" Magnums Open A Can Of Whoop Ass!



Bemidji, Minnesota: On a clear, cold. Bemidji night. The 3" Magnums laid the smack down on the "Better When Drunk" team from T. Juan's. Entering into the nights action the Magnums found themselves in first place. Leading the BeaverRetrievers, and Team Dirt by 2 games and the T Juan's,"Better When Drunk" team by 4. With Team Captain, Aaron "G-Unit" Guthrie out of town on business, the 3" Mag's strolled into T Juan's a little apprehensive. The T. Juan's team was hot on their heels in the standings and boasted the top women's player in the league. With the season coming to an end, only 3 weeks left, the Mag's play the top 3 teams in consecutive weeks. The 3" Magnums needed a win. They got it!
Spike and Super Sub Aaron Schmitz, playing for absent team captain Aaron Guthrie, pitched a furious first game. In a see-saw battle that came down to a single dart. Our hero's fell, to the top pair from T Juan's. Starting the fray down 1-0 was not in the plans and the Magnums responded in such a way as had not been seen this whole season. The boys reeled off 11 straight wins! It was a sight to see and the merry band of 3" Magnum groupies were there to take it all in! The 11-1 match victory was the best showing the Magnums have accomplished this whole season!
As far as accolades are concerned, we will start with Kenny "The Mutt" Mutzski, after taking a month off of school and DARTS! The Mutt made an amazing return. Likened to MacArthur returning to the Philippines. The Mutt, Kicked Ass and Took Names! I crawl out on the limb and proclaim The Mutt as "The Greatest Dart Player in The Land" It would be hard to argue the fact. He was incredible! He totally demoralized the Better When Drunk Team.
"Hippie Boy" Jason Rylander was his solid usual self, and tallied 3 wins to draw closer to Spike for the lead in team wins.
Super Sub, Aaron Schmitz threw the winning darts in 5! Yes, I said 5 games!! He came up big when the pressure was on! Filling the "G-Units" shoes can be adaunting task, but Schmitty did so with style!
Spike, well what can we say about Spike. His erratic play has returned. Seemingly always just 1 hole away. He did not garner a single win this week, but did throw enough good darts to set his partners up for victories and well..... he could not have been that bad, the Magnums did, after all win 11 games out of 12! Lets just hope as his eyesight returns and his health stabilizes, his dart prowess will return. Some are attributing his recent below average play with the fact that he is not partaking in alcoholic beverages, due to Doctors orders. Only time will tell.
One last word. The Beautiful bevy of Magnum Babes were there to cheer their team on! Even the lovely Katie Guthrie arrived, sans her husband, to support the Mag's! Darcy was stunning, even wrapped up in her winter coat! It was great to see the breathtaking Lisa back from vacation! (Thank God Christmas breakis over!) Tanya, as always, a true head turner, even without the South Pole Jeans! Kari, What can we say! Inspiration personified all wrapped up in a awesome blonde package. The 3" Magnums are indeed a lucky team. The finest fans in the league and incredible dart talent!
It does not get any easier next week (Jan.31, at 8pm) the 3" Magnums take on Team Dirt from Dales Bar, at home, in the 209 Bar and Grill. 2 weeks to go. Can the Mag's hold on to the lead? Can Spike find his game? If you have been sitting on the fence about taking in the 3" Magnums matches, now is the time to join in the fun and support your favorite dart team. Hell, it's worth it just to hang with the groupies! I brought the camera this week too! Check out the photos!

To check out the NW Funtime Cricket Standings look at the www.northernamusement.com web site!

The Magnums Win Big!


Bemidji: On Wednesday night the 17th of January, Americas Dart Team, the 3" Magnums, Were at home to take on the One Dart Wonders from the Corner Bar. The 209 Bar was hopping and the Magnums were back in winning form, smoking the Wonders 9 to 3, We are not sure of the standings because they have not been reported on the league's web site as of yet, but we are hoping that with their big win the Magnums, cut down the deficit that separates them from The Beaver Retrievers and First Place in the NW Funtime League. Hopefully they will have it up over the weekend. See www.northernamusement.com Spike working hard with the medical staff of The MeritCare Clinic and the Regions North Hospital and on varied amounts of pharmaceuticals combined with just a couple of Captain Morgan and Diet Cokes threw his team to the easy victory, posting a 5 and 1 record for the series. Jason, the "Hippie Boy" was steady as usual and "Pretty Boy" Schmitz seemed more comfortable with his second consecutive relief appearance. CaptainG-Unit was in even rarer form than usual, as his constant and amazing intake of Windsor was a sight to behold. All players were on edge trying to anticipate when "The Unit" would crash to the floor, trying to soften the blow if possible. The "G-Unit" showed us all, just why he leads the league in MTBDHFDL. "Most Times Being Driven Home From Dart League" He even made it to work on Thursday Morning at 6am. Way to go Aaron!! Next week the 3" Magnums, travel down the road to T-Juans. The T-Juans team is right on the heels of the Magnums, in 3rd place in the league. There is only 3 weeks left in the season and the 3" Magnums play 3 of the top 4 teams during this stretch. "This is where the cream rises to the top" quoted Spike. The title is there for the taking, can our boys do it? Will they be able to bring the trophy back to the 209? Will Spike be able to shake his health issues to toe the line? How will Mutt do after his month long hiatus? Can Schmitty, fill G-Units shoes this week? As the Captain is out of town on Vacation? Can The 3"Magnums MVP, Hippie Boy Rylander continue his torrid pace? Will the Hottest Dart Groupies show up to bolster the boys spirits? All of these questions and more will be answered in the next dart report! Stay tuned!

3" Magnums Go Down To Defeat!


Bemidji, MN: Terribly sorry that I have not written a dart update for awhile, but well,.... I've been lazy, and sick. First the Bad, on January 10th the 3" Magnums tasted defeat for the first time at the hands of theDistraction team from that Keg and Cork bar in Bemidji, by a 8 games to 4 margin. This loss tumbled the Mag's down to second place in the League. 2 games behind the Beaver Retrievers from the American Legion. While this was just an awful showing by your favorite team it was not the whole story. The Boys did experience some new things that should improve their chances in the weeks remaining. For an example The G-Unit, although his play was erratic, it was interesting watching him cope with Bemidji's New Smoking Ban. Super Sub Aaron Schmitz made his debut as a contributing member of the Magnums and he threw a respectable 1.80 average. We look for big things from him in the upcoming weeks. Lets talk a little about Jason Rylander shall we. First of all It was amazing thing to witness. Watching a man try to stand AND throw darts after drinking, what can only be estimated at about enough Pyramid beer to float a small armada of Walleye boats. Weebles Wobble but don't fall down!! It was comical until the standings came out and we saw that "Hippie Boy" was Player of the week! Through all of out laughter and tears we never noticed that when he did actually hit the board, his darts were HUGE!!! Last but not least we get to Spike. Alas, the big man struggled mightily. Nearly blind from Pink eye and suffering from a massive jump in his blood sugar levels (mid 500's! Near coma) Spike climbed out of his sick bed and squeezed in darts between hospital visits. His play showed it. The good news is that there is no way to go but up! Spike also fell out of the lead in wins. He trails by 3 wins, stuck at 28. But still in second place. All is not lost. But the team can not take another beating like this and hope to take the title. The Mutt was out of town on Christmas break and working the late shift atCambria. He was missed.